I admit it. This place is becoming my living room extension. These are the perks of living in the city centre. You don’t even have the excuse of being lazy and having to take a crowded metro. You just have to put on a coat, grab your shoes and walk 10 minutes to your movie seat. And YES, you even have many seats to pick from.
Let’s assume that, by default, you pass by the UGC without even looking at it. Besides what your posh “I am better than all this commercial crap” self considers as a mediocre programming – no, no I swear it wasn’t me you saw at the first UGC James Bond screening last September, you MUST be mistaken – your grumpy old Sunday self doesn’t like teenagers with huge popcorn bowls and active mobile phone screens.
Even though you still have the Galeries and the Palace to choose from, you always end up in the Aventure lately. There are several reasons to that: a) first, you have to balance equally your support to small cinemas. Since you spent your summer/autumn season almost exclusively at the Palace and the Galeries, it seems only fair that the Aventure gets its share b) let’s face it, their programming is really nice lately and c) I honestly wonder who is the genius who invented these reclining seats in room 3. That person deserves a Nobel price.
Based on the fact that since the beginning of 2022, you have injected your cat 42 times with insulin, attempted (unsuccessfully) at least 15 times at getting a drop of blood from her ear and paid over 250 EUR of veterinary fees (just for a preliminary/stabilizing treatment), the fact that your Sunday screening of “Riders of Justice” is actually scheduled in room 3 feels like winning at the lottery.
Your friends stare at you with a mix of compassion and worry when you display with excitement how to recline your genius seat up and down and up and down and up and down. Maybe it’s indeed been slightly too much for you, lately. Any case, you are unable to take that childish grin off your face.
Believe me, that grin is not going anywhere once the movie starts.
Of course, first you have to accept the fact that Mads Mikkelsen does not look like Mads Mikkelsen. Seen from your perspective, it is a disappointment. Given the level of failure experienced in the past months, Mads Mikkelsen dancing in the final scene of “Drunk” remains one of the sexiest things you had the opportunity to see in 2021.
Mads’ pretty cheekbones will however not show up on the screen for you this time (because there is a big – criminal #verypersonalopinionagain – hairy beard hiding them). You will therefore have to rely on a hopefully decent level of Danish dark humour to compensate for their (very tragic) absence. However, as your entire life has recently turned into one big cynical joke, you are not an easy one to get in terms of dark jokes. For a while, you remain suspicious. Is it going to end up in too big a caricature?
It takes about 10 minutes for your first laugh to burst out. From then on, it never stops. The recipe is not totally innovative or unseen though. We have witnessed these lost souls’ gatherings in many movies (starting with Jeff Lebowski and his bowling buddies). Nevertheless, it still works. At least for me, it is hard to resist to this specific batch of losers. Because of the Danish phlegm that they keep, even in the most violent situations. Because of their often-unexpected reactions and replicas (I am still laughing at that Ukrainian tale with no point at all); and because of the deep humanity and fragility that stems from each single one them – despite the fact that, let’s face it, they are absolute barbarians.
But then again, who is the biggest barbarian? Is it the seemingly feeling-less soldier with anger-management issues who (literally) breaks everyone’s nose before there is any chance to even start a conversation? Is it the data obsessed geek aggressively shouting as well as hyperventilating whenever something doesn’t go his way? Or is it the rest of the humanity, the one that strikes you by its growing indifference and intolerance?
At least these broken guys stick together and accept their wounded selves without any judgement and with way more love given than so many so-called “civilized” individuals would give. And believe me, it feels heart-warming to watch.
Klara's cinema 